Sly Cooper In The Ultimate Battle
by THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE
Summary: Sly Cooper has returned from the depths of hell to face his biggest enemy yet.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Sly Cooper Vs. Octavarius Kaiser Scott

I don't own Sly Cooper but I do own Kaizor Scott not Kaiser Scott(AKA The Octavarius). They are completely different people. Kaizor Scot just hates Sly Cooper and for those of you who don't know,Kaiser Scott is a mentally retarded flamer with multiple-personality disorder and beacause of that, his parents beat the living shit out of him leading to his flaming tendencies online. Oh yeah, Kaiser Scott also likes to have sex with Jar Jar Binks to ease the mental angst of getting teased in school. And Kaiser, this story has more than one chapter, so double the flaming pleasure for you, pussy muthafucka!!!!! P.S. Please don't put this on your profile, I'm sick of reading it there. However, on with the story. Oh yeah, and Kaiser's dad is a retard which explains why he's also retarded,

Scott stood up and looked around. "I can't fucking be here, I'm fucking dead. What the fuck am I doing here?" he thought. He saw that he was standing in a lone collusium. Then, the lights came on and he saw his nemisis. "Fucking Cooper..." he said softly."What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Everyone died in a nuclear bombing and God likes to make us fight in the afterlife." the cunning racoon said."Go figure?"

Kaizor Scot and Sly Cooper size each other up in the arena.

Sly Cooper: Are you ready, Kaizor Scot?

Kaizor Scot: I LOVE TO FLAME PEOPLE ONLINE ANOMOUSLY AND DENY IT LATER!!!!!!

Sly: I can't say I'm suprised.

Kaizor Scot: I AM A FLAMER!!!!!

Sly: Well, if you flame people, that does make you a flamer, I guess.

Kaizor Scot: I WANT TO FUCK JAR JAR BINKS UP THE ASS!!!!!

Sly:...What?

Kaizor Scot:ALL I KNOW IS FLAMING OTHERS FOR PERSONAL REASONS AND OPINIONS AND JUST TREATING PEOPLE LIKE SHIT FOR NO REASON!!!!

Sly:(sighs) Is that all?

Kaizor Scot: I have many alt. accounts such as Vanguard Ziggy, Steve The Hell, and Toxic City.

Sly: Any more deep secrets you want to reveal?

Kaizor Scot:I'm smarter than you.

Sly Cooper:(smugly) No, but you are the biggest douchebag ever in the entire eco-system of the univerese and beyond.

Kaizor: What did you say?

Sly: I said you're the biggest douchebag ever in the entire eco-system of the univerese and beyond.

Ring Announcer:Go!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaizor Scot: COOPER! I'LL KILL YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!

Sly: What? I didn't quite catch that, maybe you should stop mumbling, Kaizor Scot!

Kaizor Scot:What do you think, you fucking idiot? I said, "COOPER! I'LL KILL YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!"

Sly: What? I didn't quite catch that, maybe you should stop mumbling, Kaizor Scot!

Kaizor Scot:(louder)What do you think, you fucking idiot? I said, "COOPER! I'LL KILL YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!"

Sly Cooper: You should really stop whispering, I really can't hear you!

Kaizor Scot: I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL!!!!!!

Sly: Only a moron who likes Tiny Toons would say that. That game sucks.It's like, the worst video game ever made.

Kaizor Scot:I LOVE TINY TOONS!!!!!!

Sly Cooper: Only retards who pretend to have sex with Miyu Lynx and kids with mental issues watch that show. And you sir, fit both of those descriptions.

Kaizor Scot: Shut up, it's a serious mental condition.Plus, I don't have sex with Miyu Lynx, I have sex with Miyu Lynx blow-up dolls though.And sometimes I like to fondle Jar Jar Binks...

Sly:Having fake sex with Miyu Lynx is a mental condition? Congradulations, you officially have every single mental disorder known to man.

Kaizor Scot:(stunned with rage):...BWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sly: Well Scott. Your own personal issues have finally caught up with you, and now you're just a sniveling,pissed off retard.

Kaizor Scot: So?

Sly: Aren't you going to forfeit now that you became a major pussy? My mistake, you've always been one.

Kaizor Scot: So?

Sly Cooper: I guess I'll have to kill you. Now.

Kaizor Scot: You...Motherfucker!!

Sly: Watch that language.

Sly knocks Scot with his cane-o attack.

Cooper: Haha-ha.

Kaizor Scot: You...Motherfucker!!

Kaizor Scot charges at Sly. Sly side-steps him and Kaizor Scot falls on his face.

Cooper: Haha-ha.

Kaizor Scot stands up.

Kaizor Scot: You think this is funny, you fucking bastard.

Cooper: Haha-ha.You're depressed in the head,And you have a inch long cock,

Kaizor Scot: So?

Sly: For God's sake, get some anger management, maybe you won't flame people online then. Stop repeating yourself!

Kaizor Scot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sly: Oh, look at that, he's angry now! Is this another mental disorder?Oh yeah, you're bipolar. You're sad, then mad. What's next? Bitterness? Remorse?

Kaizor Scot: You think this is funny, you fucking bastard.

Sly: Hey Scot. stop repeating yourself.Haha-ha.

Kaizor Scot:Gahh.I'm sick of you and your stupid pairings with Carmelita.That's one of the few things I hate, next to cliches that rule fandoms, shit-eating conservatives, hypocrisy, Sucker Punch, teenage dumbasses like myself, OCs created solely for the purpose of getting Sly and Carmelita together, Bringing back Clockwerk/Neyla/Clock-La and having them reprise their typical roles,The tried and true "read to find out" bullshit in story summaries,The name "Carmen". It wasn't that original to begin with,The "Sly has a little sister" kind of plot,Green Day-related songfics,Karaoke parties,Hitler/Octavarius comparisons. I think there's a big difference between bitter asshole and insane momma's boy, Stories that just won't end. And yes, Captein Amelia, I mean you. It's old, and they're boring, horrible music that would be alternative, punk, nu-metal, rap, hip-hop, R&B, country, and Billie Joe Armstrong. He needs to be raped by a herd of gay horses.Let's see, what else do I hate?Oh yeah, those shitty musical artists, that would be Green Day,Linkin Park,Limp Bizkit,Korn,Good Charlotte,Trapt,Puddle Of Mudd, Evanscence,Ashlee Simpson,Avril Lavigne,Mudvayne,Backstreet Boys,N'Sync,Staind,Yellowcard,50 Cent,Disturbed,Britney Spears, Simple Plan,Hilary Duff,My Chemical Romance,Drowning Pool,Slipknot,,System Of A Down. And I can't forget those gay Knights of FanFiction, VanguardZiggy,Heiduska,RedPandaBear,ZantetsukenSteelBlades,gamecube-profesional,YonderTiger,LemonLime777,RacoCooper,X.giggles,Goddspiker,Osage,DemioHukau,Reytaya,Anti-Kaiser.Echoesoffallensouls,heistmaster,Despot Dragon,Shady Fetish,that fat-assToxic City,Krimzon Yakkow,erickdragon101,Neckron,Kit Karamak,Kitty Petro,Proforce,fox thecave II,Invinceable316. and Winged Sence, the Schizophrenic Feminist Fossil Who Needs To Die A Sad, Lonesome Death In Her Nursing Home Filled With Male Supremacists! RARG! DAT'S CWAZY.Oh yeah, I also really hate Sly Cooper and all Sly Cooper related fanfictions. Did the great Kaizor Scot miss any? Tell me, and let me know if I did. because I hate a lot of things and I can't always remember all of them. Oh, and I hate God, Jesus, Buddha, Christians, Jews. black people, white people, mexicans, and Muslims.:)

Sly: Ooga Booga. Haha-ha.

Kaizor Scot: Okay, fatso. I've had about enough of your lame-ass jokes.

Kaizir Scot charges at Sly. Sly trips Scot with his cane. He quickly gets back to his feet.

Kaizor Scot: Look, this plot isn't going anywhere and I'm in it for no good fucking reason.Not to mention I didn't give you a shit worth of permission to use me in your story.And if you hadn't noticed,I think you royally blow cock at writing stories. Bitch.(review of this story)

Sly: Watch that language.Haha-ha.

Kaizor Scot:You're worse than those acursed Knights,

Scot takes out his crappy story manuscript and paper-cuts Sly to death with his signature move, The Final Cut. Sly suprisingly gets up, he isn't dead yet.

Sly:Nice try, Kaizor Scot!!

Kaizor Scot: Goddamn it!!!! He throws the manuscript to the ground.

Sly:You'll have to try harder than that.

Kaizor Scot: Ok, here you go.http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/8407/kaiser18cc.jpg

Sly runs to his computer and enters the web address. A nasty kid who looks about 15(Kaizor Scot) appears on the screen.

Sly: Oh GOD!!! WHAT A FUCKING NERD!!!!DOES HE EVER GO OUTSIDE!?!?!?!?!?! MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!!!!!

One of Sly's eyeballs pop out but still, he's not dead yet.

Kaizor Scot:(whining) Goddamn it! WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING DIE?!

Sly:Ooga Booga. Haha-ha.

Kaizor Scot:Don't make me use my Octavarius...

Sly: Ooh, Octavarius. I'm so scared.

Kaizor Scot:I know you're probably scared.

Sly: Ha! I'm not!

Kaizor Scot:(stunned with rage):...BWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He starts to throw a temper tantrum, the only way to summon his alter-ego, THE OCTAVARIUS. The ground begins to shake as the multiple personality transformation occurs before Sly's eyes. It is complete but Scott looks the same.

Sly:(sarcastically) Hm, big change Scott. You look SO different.

The Octavarius:(NOTE: Octavarius swears more than Kaizor) Fuck you shitting dick nippled cock sucking cunt. I bet dykes like you masturbate to gay porn of walruses while sucking on some cum. Go back home so you can fuck your gonnrhea bloated hamster, you dipshit. Go have a gay sex threesome with Murray and Bentley, see who gives a flippity fuck.

Sly: ...

The Octavarius: Oh yeah, I masturbate to furry porn.

At first, this doesn't seem to effect Sly. Then reality sets in. Sly pictures this (http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/8407/kaiser18cc.jpg) nasty little freak going up to the bathroom with a magazine of furrys. The image of masturbation sets in and Sly's head pops like a grapefruit.

THE WINNER: KAIZOR SCOT!!

Kaizor Scot:I plan on going home and listening to some Pink Floyd,Marilyn Manson or Cradle Of Filth,then I'll kill more by making more people leave. Then I'll finish my crappy story, complete with genocides, proving that I am the 2nd-and-one-quarter Anti-Christ.

He leaves.

THE END

A/N: This just goes to show you, if you smoke pot and dropout of school, you end up like Oct. Kaiser Scott.

Next up: Kaizor Scot Vs. Sly/Carm! 


	2. Chapter 2

Sly: Hey bentley.

Bentley:Yes?

Sly:You wanna go to the carnival?

Murray: YIPPEE!

Bentley: I can try my new throwing techniques

Sly:Nice.

Sly: Btw, I didn't you could come, Murray.

Murray(deeply stricken with sad):What?

Sly:You can't come.

Murray[:(: That makes me sad.

Sly: cause you can't not eat ev'ry'thin in the place.

Bentley: Your consumpshon rate is terribly incredible

Murray:That deeply depresses me. sniff

Sly: Go choke on a piece of shit.

Bentley:Yeah, fuck you.

Murray:fuck you guys, I'm gonna order some porn.

Sly: chuckles

Bentley: Tee Hee Hee

Murray:What's so funny?

Sly:You are so pathetic that you need pornography to simulate your needs.

Bentley.Yeah.

Murray:(starts to cry): I hate you guys, asshole.

Sly: let's go.

Bentley: hahahhahaha

Sly and Bentley arrive at the carnival, with murray sneaking behind.

Sly: wow the carnival.

Bentley: hey it is murray.

Sly: Lets kill him Sly canes Murray, killing him not really

Sly: Wait, let not kill murry, there's a even bigger faggot named octavaris, lets kill him.

bently: ok.

they kill him.

sly: thank god that retard is deader. 


	3. The Battel begins:Sly VsMurry

Murray: I will punch you withmy power punch!

Sly: What was that, Hippo Breath?

Murray:RRRRRRRRRR

Sly kills Murray by hitting him on the neck.

WINNER: SLY 


	4. Chapter 4:sly vs bently

A/N: THis is my first "T" story. Hope its fun. GO read and review my other stories please. 

Sly challenges Bently

Sly:Ready to fight, turtle breath?

Bently: Yes

Sly charges at Bently with his mystical powers

Sly:Can you beat me?

Bently: I may be short, but I can fight!

Sly: EEP?!

Bently detonates Sly with trillions of Micro-Mini-Bombs╝

Bently:YES!

WINNER: BENTLY


	5. bently vs murry

Bentley: I may be short, but I can fight!

Murray: I will punch you withmy power punch!

Bentley: Are you ready

Murray:RRRRRRRRRR

Bentley: I said, ARE YOU READY!!!

Murray:GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

bentley:GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Announcer 3: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Bentley and Murry charge. Bentley misses, a fatal mistake, for Murray punches his glasses off.

Bentley: I can't see without my glasses?

Murray:GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Murray stomps on Bentley's head.

WINNER: MURRAY 


	6. carmelita vs sly

CARMELITA VS. Sly

Sly looked around the metal dome that served as his battlefield

Sly: Where is Carmelita?

Carmelita: Right here

Sly: HOW!?!?

Carmelita: this is how

Sly is destroyed by Carmelita

WINNER: Carmelita 


	7. All for one

Sly challenges Bentley and Murray who challenges Carmelita, who challenges everybody, which accepts.

Sly:Ready to fight, turtle breath?

Bentley: Yes

Sly charges at Bentley with his mystical powers

Sly:Can you beat me?

Murray: I will punch you with my power punch!

Sly: What was that, Hippo Breath?

Bentley: Are you ready?

Murray:RRRRRRRRRR

Bentley: I said, ARE YOU READY?

Murray:GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

bentley:GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Announcer 3: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Bentley and Murry charge. Bentley misses, a fatal mistake, for Murray punches his glasses off.

Bentley: I can't see without my glasses?

Murray:GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Murray stomps on Bentley's head.

Elimination: BENTLEY

Sly looked around the metal dome that served as his battlefield

Sly: Where is Carmelita?

Carmelita: Right here

Sly: HOW!?!?

Carmelita: this is how

Sly: NO its not.

Sly breaks Carmelita's neck

Elimination: CARMELITA

Sly: Well Murray, do you think you can win?

Murray: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sly: You forgot about my special power, to recronstruct myself after my cells and molecules dissipate. HAHAHAH

Murray: But you have forgotten about MY SPECIAL ABILITY, to kill racoons

Sly: HOW!?!?

Murray: this is how

Sly: NO its not.

Murray: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sly: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sly knocks Murray with his cane-o attack. Murray stomps on Bentley's dead head.

Murray: USELESS!!!

Sly: Yes.

Murray explodes with rage.

Sly: Ooga booga.Haha-ha.

WINNER: SLY

Next fight: Sly Cooper Vs. Kaizor Scot 


	8. One for all

Kaizor Scot and Sly Cooper size each other up in the arena.

Sly Cooper: Are you ready, Kaizor Scot?

KS:NO!!!

Sly: I can't say I'm suprised.

KS: YES!!

Bentley: I may be short, but I can fight!

Murray: I will punch you withmy power punch!

Bentley: Are you ready

Murray:RRRRRRRRRR

Bentley: I said, ARE YOU READY!!!

Murray: I will punch you withmy power punch!

Sly: What was that, Hippo Breath?

Murray:RRRRRRRRRR

Sly kills Murray by hitting him on the neck.

Announcer 3: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Bentley and Murry charge. Bentley misses, a fatal mistake, for Murray punches his glasses off.

Bentley: I can't see without my glasses?

Murray:GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Murray stomps on Bentley's head.

Sly looked around the metal dome that served as his battlefield

Sly: Where is Carmelita?

Carmelita: Right here

Sly: HOW!?!?

Carmelita: this is how

Carmelita is destroyed by Sly

Sly:Ooga Booga. Haha-ha.

Kaizor Scot:Don't make me use my Octavarius...

Sly: Ooh, Octavarius. I'm so scared.

Kaizor Scot:I know you're probably scared.

Sly: Ha! I'm not!

Kaizor Scot:(stunned with rage):...BWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He starts to throw a temper tantrum, the only way to summon his alter-ego, THE OCTAVARIUS. The ground begins to shake as the multiple personality transformation occurs before Sly's eyes. It is complete but Scott looks the same.

Sly:(sarcastically) Hm, big change Scott. You look SO different.

The Octavarius:(NOTE: Octavarius swears more than Kaizor) Fuck you shitting dick nippled cock sucking cunt. I bet dykes like you masturbate to gay porn of walruses while sucking on some cum. Go back home so you can fuck your gonnrhea bloated hamster, you dipshit. Go have a gay sex threesome with Murray and Bentley, see who gives a flippity fuck.

Sly: ...

The Octavarius: Oh yeah, I masturbate to furry porn.

At first, this doesn't seem to effect Sly. Then reality sets in. Sly pictures this (http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/8407/kaiser18cc.jpg) nasty little freak going up to the bathroom with a magazine of furrys. The image of masturbation sets in and Sly's head pops like a grapefruit.

THE WINNER: KAIZOR SCOT!! 


End file.
